I remember getting to work extremely early a couple of months ago and reading an article from a very infuriated wife that her husband wasn’t allowing her to take care of responsibilities in their home. Now, I am sure many of you are wondering what I am on about now. Let me start first by telling her story. Ms A grew up in a home, in which her mother took care of all responsibilities. She was the bread winner while her husband basically depended on her to bring home the cheddar. Ms A grew up thinking that this is the norm, that when she started dating, she always dated a particular type – in between jobs, unemployed, no future plans kind of men, until she fell in love with wonderful guy who grew up in a more traditional family setting in which Father took care of most of the financial responsibilities and that is where wahala (trouble) started. Ms. A’s husband thought it was very weird that his wife acted the way she did and he felt very disrespected because Ms. A will perform family financial responsibilities without discussing it with him. Now, many will think this is an anomaly while many men will probably be wishing that this could be their story but upon reading their story – I wondered is this story a common one particularly in this present period of recession. As usual it got me thinking and searching.
It is no secret that we are currently going through a recession but it seems that the industries that seem to be the most highly hit seem to be industries that are very male dominated, now with more men loosing their jobs as opposed to women – the question becomes what is the impact of this change in the family? It is a given that more women will be the bread winners and then what next? For some liberal men they do not see the big deal in such a switch but for many women even though they do not articulate their frustration, they detest being the bread winners. Some silently fume or find some ways of showing their frustrations. So men, if you find yourself in such a situation, quickly come up with ways to change the tides. Personally, I know many women who are currently in this situation and none is happy.
I will leave you with a story I heard a couple of years ago – a woman found herself the breadwinner in her house hold, her husband was unable to accept the fact that he has a new role, now that his wife was the only one working. So basically the woman will leave early for work, get home late at night to see dirty dishes in the sink, the house extremely dirty, the toilet a mess (you can say EWW here it is okay) and no food cooked. Each time, she will curse under her breathe and get to working. But one day, things got to a head and she got so angry that she started ranting and raving about everything that she had to do and threw him out of their home.
So I leave you with these questions:
A)is it okay for women to be bread winners?
B)For men: if the tides turned and you found yourself in a similar situation will you be comfortable allowing your women to be the breadwinner and women how will you feel about this switch?
C) What is the impact of this switch in a relationship/marriage? Many men feel that when this occurs women stop respecting them – is that true?
I know a lot of guys will be asking – what ever happened to the independent women? I leave the answers to these questions to you guys.
Till next time,