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ONE: While CNN celebrates opulent, colourful and wealthy weddings in Lagos State, over in Kano State, a hundred couples were married in local government sponsored mass ceremony aimed at targeted at dealing with a variety of identified social problems. The aim of this initiative is to tackled the high divorce rates in Kano State, provide a stable home for divorced or widowed women, as well as financial and social security for them and their children. More marriages are planned in the future.

TWO: Boko Haram released a video explaining why they carried out the attacks on ThisDay Newspapers. They claimed that ThisDay “dishonoured” Prophet Muhammad during a beauty pageant in Kaduna that was held in November 2002. They want to “drive the media house out of existence” as punishment. They also accused media outlets of wrongly pining responsibility on certain incidents on Boko Haram, and lying about them and their activities.

THREE: Around 788 doctors in Lagos’ public health institution were fired by the Lagos State Government due to them holding a strike “illegally” due to pay concerns for close to three weeks. The Lagos State Government claims that it made this decision for the interests of the state and for public good saying that it would not negotiate with the sacked doctors. About 400 junior doctors have been brought in to replace the doctors that were fired. The doctors are taking their case to the Industrial Court while the Nigeria Medical Association, NMA, has said that it may shut down all health facilities in Lagos State should the sacked doctors not be rehired. However the sacked doctors have started lobbying for their reinstatement.

FOUR: On the technology front, the Department of Chemical Engineering recently launched a series of researches, headed by Professor James Omoleye that ended in the production of an electric car and a power bike.

Ifeanyi Uddin

There are more fun ways to spend one’s afternoon than in the company of four egg-heads, eachwith very strong views on the direction in which the Nigerian economy ought to be headed. Thursday last week was one such day – it was not so much that the respective directions favoured by each of my interlocutors were mutually exclusive, it was the vertigo generated by the sheer depth of the arguments each marshalled in defence of their positions. Early in the week, the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) had (and way ahead of its own advertised schedule) released data for April’s inflation numbers. This conclave that I was privy to attend had been convened to try and put meaning to these numbers. Part of the immediate challenge was that the central bank’s (CBN) rate-setting committee (the MPC) would be meeting for two days, beginning this Monday. There was a bank treasurer at the meeting; and his assignment was putting a finger on the possible direction of the policy rate after the MPC’s meeting. Remember that more and more, banks have put off new lending, preferring instead the assured yields from fixed rate instruments, as the coupon on treasury bills have risen in response to the CBN’s increasingly less accommodative stance.

The inflation numbers released by the NBS were not of much use. The All Items Index – that’s everything, or put in the more familiar lingo, the “headline numbers” – moved (on a year-on-year basis) from 12.1% in March, to 12.9% in April, reinforcing concern that despite the CBN’s best efforts, inflation expectations are far from properly anchored. But what was the main driver of domestic prices? There was a strong case to be made for food prices. Even the NBS admitted in its report that relative scarcity of some food products (“especially yams and other tubers”) “due to the drawdown from the end of year harvest” was the main cause of “the rise in the food index”. Still, on a yearly basis, the food index dropped from 11.8% in March, to 11.2% in April. So despite its volatility, and all of that, the headline numbers must have responded to a much stronger stimulus than the food index.

Which is okay in a very technical way. For in truth, the MPC’s best efforts should be concentrated by the core inflation rate, rather than the more volatile headline numbers. Back-out food prices and you get the NBS’ “’All items less Farm Produce’ index which excludes the prices of volatile agricultural products”. Again, the NBS accounted for the “rise in the ‘Core’ index” by“higher price levels in major divisions that compose the index”. But in truth, on a year-on-year basis, April-on-March, the core index dropped from 15% to 14.7%. Now, this is where the arithmetic got interesting. On a yearly basis, both the core and food indexes dropped in April from their March numbers. But then the headline numbers trended up. What was driving what? Or was I missing something?

Doubtless, there’s some statistical explanation for this quirk. But it is doubtful that the MPC can wait to square this circle before deciding at its meeting this week what to do with the policy rate. At this point, there is only one direction towards which the policy rate should be heading: and that is up. This is not just an acknowledgement of inflation numbers remaining sticky on the wrong side. It is equally about the rising national debt. Much has been made of the fact that currently, the national debt-to-GDP ratio stands at a modest 17% – manageable in other words. But, as recently indicated by the presidency’s request to the national assembly, this government’s borrowing requirement is uncomfortably high. Does it matter too that three-quarters of the resulting spend is “hand-to-mouth”? Maybe, maybe not! But it is important that in estimating the public debt, outliers like AMCON’s N4.7tn, and the sundry debts of government’s departments and agencies are properly reflected.

That way, the measure of the domestic economy’s fragility is clearer. All of these negative numbers are being recorded at a time when the oil price is strong on the global markets, domestic liquidity isn’t rising, and the exchange rate is strengthening. Obviously, with numbers this bad, we have exhausted all the buffers needed to ride the next shock to the economy.

According to Kano state government figures, the state has the highest divorce rate in Nigeria and quite possibly one of the highest rates in the world, with a staggering 80% of marriages reportedly collapsing. While the NGO, Voice of Divorcées and Widows Association of Nigeria (VOWAN)estimates incredibly, that there are one million divorcees and widows in the state!

Some key highlights of this mass wedding scheme include:

In the first place, it is worth noting that this programme involves women who are divorcées or widows, not single women who have never been married. This is in recognition of the fact that men typically, not just in Kano and Northern Nigeria, but all over the world are more likely to opt for a single woman who has never been married than for a widow or divorcée. Besides, in the conservative Kano society where a woman’s marital status impacts heavily on her image in society and her respectability, this is perhaps a timely move within this context, by the government to assist these vulnerable women in finding suitable partners and have fulfilling marital lives where they would otherwise find it difficult to do so. Here, the case of a blind couple, Batula Umar and Adamu Faidawa who got married under this scheme, is instructive as it would have ordinary been difficult for them to get suitable spouses.

Secondly, it is worth emphasizing that there was no element of compulsion from the Hisbah board on these women to participate in the initiative. The 1,000 women who signed up for this programme did so out of their own volition. According to the Hisbah board and VOWAN, women and men who qualified were allowed to meet each other at the Hisbah offices, with a window of courtship period provided for the couples to get acquainted with each other and finally, they decided on their own whether they wished to go ahead with the process of marriage or not.

Fourthly, the government made efforts to register and document these marriages and ensure the existence of a contractual agreement, which would serve as a check against arbitrariness on the part of either party, especially the husbands to just divorce and discard these women at will. This was buttressed by the Director General of the Hisbah board, as he emphasized that the near absence of a social contract was principally responsible for the collapse of marriages.

These ostensible merits notwithstanding, and as with any social policy, there is a healthy dose of scepticism regarding the programme’s sustainability which appears to tackle the symptoms of a problem without effecting addressing the root cause(s). Critics are of the opinion that the government has not made concerted efforts in finding out the underlying reasons behind the high incidence of marital failure, and putting in checks to ensure the high rates of divorces are mitigated. The reasons for high incidence of marital failure have been attributed to people getting into marriage for the wrong reasons i.e. for material benefit, the excessive pressure placed on young girls to marry mainly because their peers are getting married thereby loosing the true essence of marriage as a means of finding lasting companionship; abdication and abuse of marital duties and responsibilities; the misinterpretation, misapplication and abuse of religious doctrine concerning marital rights and duties especially the exploitation of the polygamy clause in Islam by many men to marry and divorce spontaneously, among many other reasons.

Sceptics further argue that if the underlying causes of marital breakdown have not been addressed, what is to stop these government-sponsored marriages from failing as well? In this regard, credit could be given to the Kano state government and Hisbah board for registering and issuing marriage certificates at least within this pilot initiative, as a check, to monitor haphazard marriages and divorces.

Another set of arguments critics put forward is that rather than marrying off the divorcées and widows, it might be more strategic and pragmatic for the Kano state government to empower them with soft skills training and access to soft loans and micro credit, to enable them become productive members of society. While this is a very cogent argument, we have to remember the nature of this conservative environment in Northern Nigeria in general and Kano in particular, where a woman’s status and respectability are determined to a very large extent by her marital status, regardless of her achievements or contribution to society — she is regarded as “incomplete” as long as she is unmarried. Perhaps the action of the Kano state government of giving these women some grants, financing their weddings and marrying them off could be understood within this social and moral context.

Overall, like any new policy thrust, there are inherent merits and demerits, and the Kano state government and VOWAN would do well by taking some of the legitimate concerns of sceptics into consideration in understanding the underlying causes of the high rate of marital break down and putting in effective measures to mitigate such. This could entail taking opinion surveys of a select number of households, religious and community leaders on the most common causes of marital failure and ideas for solutions; conducting comparative studies with other similar predominantly Muslim-societies in West Africa, North Africa, the Middle East and parts of Asia to find out whether their incidence of marital break down is comparatively lower and whether the answer could lie in the (mis)interpretation of religious prescriptions. In addition, the government, Hisbah board and NGOs like VOWAN could also consider introducing counselling services and awareness programmes on rights and duties of spouses in conjunction with local mosques in every district, Shariah courts, adult literacy programmes and radio shows. With respect to the mass weddings, the Hisbah board could consider putting in monitoring and evaluation mechanisms periodically – quarterly, bi-annually or annually – to monitor the progress of these couples and offer conciliatory advice where necessary.

Finally, as Kano state has ushered in Nigeria’s first ever mass wedding, it remains to be seen just how effective this would be in the medium to long-term, in addressing the high incidence of marital failure in Kano, and whether other states not just in the North, but all over Nigeria would tread the path of embarking on mass marriage schemes as a solution to marital breakdown and attendant social vices. It also remains to be seen how soon the government would marry off the remaining 900 women who have signed up for the scheme and whether or not other measures would be included in this initiative to alleviate the deplorable plight of the estimated one million divorcées and widows in the state.

Rosanwo Babatunde

“Organized crime threatens peace and human security, violates human rights and undermines economic, social, cultural, political and civil development of societies around the world.” ~ UNODC

In the last century, organised crime has drawn a lot of attention globally, with its transnational dimension as the main focus. According to Howard Abadinsky, an American professor of criminal justice and legal studies, organized crime is a non-ideological enterprise involving a number of persons in close social interaction, organized on a hierarchical basis, with at least three levels/ranks, for the purpose of securing profit and power by engaging in illegal and legal activities. There is a blurry line in identifying the perimeters of organised crime; members of such networks may be involved in legal activities that serve as potential covers for their activities.  The Interpol defines an organised crime group as any group having a corporate structure, whose primary objective is to obtain money through illegal activities, often surviving on fear and corruption. Several academics, countries and global institutions have gone on to define organised crime in several contexts.

Organized crime is usually associated with drug trafficking, human trafficking and murder. Several global indices have been applied to discuss and understand the context in which these activities thrive. There is a much broader concern today in tackling these activities, with focus moving away from the traditional mafia thinking to a global trend across several countries. It is not surprising to find internet scams classified as organised crime – commonly known in Nigeria as yahoo-yahoo. The FBI states that the face of organized crime has changed, and the threat is broader and more complex than ever with an estimated $1 trillion illegal profit per year. New trends include:

• Russian mobsters who fled to the U.S. in the wake of the Soviet Union’s collapse;
• Groups, from African countries like Nigeria, that engage in drug trafficking and financial scams;
• Chinese thugs, Japanese Boryokudan, and other Asian crime rings;
• Enterprises based in Eastern European nations like Hungary and Romania.

No surprise, Nigeria is listed by the FBI as one of the countries evolving the new trend of organized crime across the world. The notorious scam emails have definitely not helped this perception. Nigerian organized crime is known for forged documents, human trafficking (with Italy as a major destination) as well as arms trafficking. The trends of extortion, kidnapping and other criminal activities with similar patterns cannot be attributed to individuals or one-off activities. My concern borders on the murder index used in organised crime analysis, very much an activity within the borders of a country. The correlation between large scale violence, unresolved murders and police response brings up an interesting angle to recent murders in the Nigerian state. In the last 12 years, the attorney general of the federation and the personal secretary of a state governor were murdered. The list of unresolved murders is countless. In countries where the numbers of unresolved murders are on the increase, it has been discovered that the community and/or citizenry have lost faith in the police force; hence information flow to the police is limited.

No accurate data is available for the number of murders in Nigeria; however citizens and journalists have taken it upon themselves to relay such information via social media and related platforms. Screening through daily blackberry broadcasts from serial broadcasters in Nigeria to twitter feeds and my information network, there is hardly a day without a suspicious death report. Countries like Mexico and Honduras have openly berated their security agencies for corruption and colluding with organized crime groups over criminal activities in their countries. This may or may not be the case in Nigeria but the Nigeria Police does not have adequate resources to investigate murders nor keep data of prevalent murder cases across the country. There are several efforts by the police to report murder as armed robbery, in order to present themselves as an effective force by covering up their lapses.

Killings are not only politically motivated. There are revenge killings, violent disputes over controlled territories and properties, repression of political opponents and street gangs. I don’t have statistics to back the extent to which organized crime may be operating in Nigeria, especially with regards to murder. Murder by organized crime is however prevalent in societies where corruption thrives, where checkmating the interests of corrupt individuals and groups is met by stiff opposition which results in calculated assassinations of incorruptible officials. It would be in the interest of the state to connect the dots.

Another dimension to the activities of organized crime groups is that they act as beneficiaries of cash rewards for executing hits – implying that there are individuals or groups paying for their services. Detailed and accurate information on these activities in Nigeria is an essential prerequisite for designing appropriate responses especially involving collaboration between security agencies. A state rife with social inequality, social injustice and economic impoverishment, coupled with the absence of the rule of law, is a fertile ground for organised crime.

While advocating a better police force (though not the primary focus here), the availability of identity data also plays a pivotal role in addressing organized crime activities. In several countries official identification is no longer through a physical representation but a series of numbers and other information stored as a unique data set. In the wrong hands this information can be criminally employed but in the right hands it is useful for tracking criminal activities. Basic data starts from having a credible birth and death registry

Nigeria is a signatory to relevant international treaties on combating organised crime and human trafficking however much is left to implementation and domesticating such. There are no straight forward solutions to the challenges of organized crime and murders yet it poses a serious threat to our existence as one nation, cardinal reforms must be carried out in our judiciary while the rule of law becomes the order of the day.  The Nigerian Police must be equipped and trained to pierce the perimeter of secrecy surrounding organized crime by recruiting the best hands to join the force. Other social factors i.e. family pressure, marginalisation/alienation, national identity crisis, conflict, ethnicity and weak state which largely influence the birth of organised crime will be examined in subsequent articles.

The Future

It goes without saying that Nigerians love to talk. We are known for vivaciousness and our noise making is legendary in African circles. Wherever two or more Nigerians are gathered, rarely will you hear them talking in soft tones, except, of course, if it is a really private conversation. And we talk about anything and everything. Name it: from football to relationships; from business to politics. But one of our favourite topics is the government and what they are doing, or not doing.

This is one reason that every year in Nigeria, there are innumerable conferences, symposia and talk shops about the Nigerian situation. They are organised by governments, regional bodies, trade associations and even youth organisations. We have, arguably, one of the most vibrant social media communities globally, where every move of government and public personalities is dissected and analysed. Sides are taken, sometimes, tempers flare; and of course, the arguments range from the mundane and emotive to the intellectual and rational. A community of intellectuals and activists has gradually emerged in the Nigerian Twitterverse.

For example, on Saturday May 5, the Oxford University African Union organised a conference on The Role of Youth in African Development, which was largely followed on Twitter, for those of us not able to attend physically. The opening remarks of the host struck a chord with me. In his words: Africa does not need more think tanks and talk tanks; what we need most is do-tanks.

I could not agree more. I remember a point last year when I got frustrated with my constant yapping online, via Twitter and my blog, and not having the opportunity to be able to do more than just that. I got increasingly interested in finding non-profits that were doing something in their communities, but I did not find many. One of my strongest desires remains to see such non-profits, especially in my native Borno State.

The time has come for young Nigerians to begin to put their words into actions. We should take this desire for a change in our society beyond 140 characters at a time and articles and blogs. We should step away from our smartphones and computers for once, and begin to organize ourselves to inspire and bring change. We cannot depend on government to do everything; governments will always fall short, either due to lack of ideas and desire or due to sheer bureaucracy. But solution-providers will always be needed, and it does not matter whether it is the government or a group of young people who are passionate about change.

What we desperately need are young people with a burning fire in their hearts about one thing, or a set of things. These young men and women must be willing to set out on the road less travelled; to lead the charge and inspire others like them to take action. They must be able to set out their agenda and goals clearly. It doesn’t have to be a nationally-focused agenda; in fact, I would prefer to see more locally-focused organizations, especially in states away from Lagos and Abuja. It could be anything, ranging from good governance to youth empowerment to religious co-existence. As long as they are able to develop strategies that will help them achieve their goals.

At the same time, it will do these young people a great deal of good to seek mentors who will help shape them in their journeys. There are older people who have been down this road, who can lend us their hindsight to be our foresight, who can help us with good advice. With their wisdom and our energy success will not be a mirage.

In closing, let me mention one of such groups that have impressed me with their vision, passion and strategy:

20MillionYouthsForChange was created shortly after the fuel subsidy imbroglio that incensed a nation and fired up an already discontented youth. Their vision is to build up a movement of 20 million Nigerian youths by the year 2015, which will be able to agree upon a single candidate for the office of the President, and even contribute funds for his campaign. Their aim is to raise a credible, detribalized Nigerian who will not be more loyal godfathers who are likely to hold him hostage, than to the Nigerian people.

They have a very strong online presence, making effective use of social media and their website. But they have also gone beyond just talking online to begin action, using the strategy of cells in localities. Cells can meet offline and work to meet the goals of the movement in their local areas, even possibly picking credible candidates for local elections, rather than having the status quo of candidates who are beholden to moneybags and godfathers.

I know 2015 is still a long way from testing the effectiveness of their strategies. But one thing for sure is that such initiatives deserve to be encouraged, supported and guided towards their goal.

Let this story stay with us as we strive to make our efforts for a better Nigeria, an as we move beyond mere words to include actions.

Thirty years ago, I swear, not just were these parameters qualitatively different. They were far better! The public works department (later the ministry of works and housing) did not embark on a road project without extensive soil sampling and detailed testing across the planned route. Roads were thus easier on the steering wheel, and took far longer to burst out in the vicious acne that our roads are pockmarked with today. ECN (NEPA’s first incarnation) was sufficiently customer-savvy to announce its maintenance schedules well ahead – on television, on radio, and in the local newspaper. And the poles through which the last mile of electricity from the mains got to our houses were numbered, ensuring that if at the end of the planned maintenance, somehow light didn’t come on on schedule, you could call ECN/NEPA, andmaintenance men, ladder and all, they’d show up in a matter of minutes. Life was predictable!

Imagine my mortification, then, when just last week, in discussion with a much younger friend, this Arcadia was challenged with more passion than I was familiar with! Her argument that over the period since my halcyon days, and now, the trend growth rate of the economy has moved up was well met. If one can account for how subsistence, rain-fed agriculture could drive such sterling growth rates for so long, then, a lot of our current problems would emanate precisely from our inability to democratise the gains from this higher growth levels. Not just have the gains been privatised by an increasingly smaller elite,but in most cases, they’ve been moved off-shore, ensuring that the much bruited about growth has happened without significant evidence of economic development locally.

Within this construct, it makes sense that Porsche (the luxury car maker) would open its first showroom in Lagos in this century, and not in mine. Although, there is an understanding within which this development testifies to a new found affluence, this it does only in a negative sense: reinforcing the fact that less than 1% of our compatriots may properly enter this showroom. Indeed, less than 25% of us spend up to N320 naira a day on basic needs – inclusive of the needs of our spouses, children, and innumerable hangers-on!

It was harder, though, to ignore the net welfare gains from access to the mobile phone (dismal services and all) by the three-quarters of our nationals who subsist on less than US$2 daily. Come to think of it, in those days when a little over 500,000 Nigerians had access to and use of those black (and some off-grey) rotary-dial analogue phones, what were the options before the rest? Travel? This must have been burdensome, even with the railways working at full tilt. Post offices? Snail mail, was of course slow, and would have taken its toll on businesses. Add to this, the fact that, today, television and radio run 24-hours, and that the media have on-line presences that are updated real-time, and it is impossible to see how “yesterday” could have been better off with television (black-and-white) coming on at 5.00pm, and stations closing just before 12.00am. Multichoice and its satellite-TV based offering may not have a look-in here, for less than 100,000 households have access to this platform.

Clearly, therefore, in a world in which the GSM-based mobile phone is as ubiquitous as it is today, and with Nigerians some of the largest users of the mobile Internet, we exaggerate a great deal, all who claim that our “yesterday” was head-and-shoulders above “today”. More appropriate to argue instead that our sense of “yesterday’s” trajectory should have seen us further up the development path than we currently are. Put this way, “we” are right to disparage the “gains” that “today’s” youth revel in. They are too small crumbs off a table from which far richer pickings were promised!

In other news about contemporary developments in the literary world, the Caine Prize has come out with a shortlist of this year’s competing works. The shortlisted writers are Nigeria’s Rotimi Babatunde, Kenya’s Billy Kahora, Malawi’s Stanley Kenani, Zimbabwe’s Melissa Tandiwe Myambo, and South Africa’s Constance Myburgh. Links to their stories have been listed on the Caine Prize webpage while a California-based blogger Aaron Bady has put up a list of current reviews of each of the shortlisted stories on his website. From what has been written so far, shortlisted entries for this year’s prize present a forward-looking snapshot of the continent’s literary future.

All that’s left here is a tribute to Maurice Sendak, the famous author of children’s books (especially, Where the Wild Things Are), who died on Tuesday at the age of 83. Enjoy our issue!

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Photos from ktravula.tumblr.com.

“Is there anything to eat in this house this evening?” Barbara asked.

“There’s porridge,” I replied.

“Porridge is not food. Porridge is just something that I will drink with the main meal,” Barbara announced.

We were both confused on our definitions of porridge. She told me that porridge is made from corn or millet. From her description, I knew that she was talking about pap or custard. So, I showed her a sachet of custard that I had, and described how to prepare it. She confirmed it as porridge. Now, I know that if I go to a restaurant in Uganda and ask for porridge, I will get something in a cup. In Uganda, our porridge does not exist; their porridge is our custard. This brought to fore the difference in terms for different things and how cultural context could change the meaning of words. It also emphasizes the authoritarian nature of words. Who, for instance, said that porridge should be so-called, or that custard should be so-called? Are there inherent features in both that make them called such names?

Meet Barbara the teacher, my housemate at the Ebedi Residency. The way she talks, you will know she likes teaching. Her statements are spiced with “you know what?” “you understand?” as if to check that you are following. I learn that “Oliotia” and “Wasuzotia” mean “good morning” and “how was your night?” respectively. I learn that the structure of education in Uganda is different from Nigeria’s. They have seven years of primary education (P1-P7); then, six years of secondary school (four years of O’ Level) and  (two years of A’ Level); then, three or five years of university depending on your course. Education is free from P1 up to Senior 6, it is the university that is competitive, which you have to pay for or fight for the few scholarships.

I also learn that up to a stage of primary education, the students are taught in local languages. We both taught students, most of them in classes between JSS1 and JSS 3. I asked the question: as black as… Expecting them to complete it, they looked at me with blank faces. Then, I translated it into Yoruba: o dúdú bíi… They all completed it: kóró isin. Easily, there’s relief on their faces. That was when it dawned on me, that they understood better in Yoruba, that they understood better with examples picked from their immediate environment. There are kóró isin trees all over Iseyin. From then, we had fun with the similes and metaphors. They threw me instances in Yoruba, many of them that I struggled to translate, many of them forms of abuses. Ó s’ojú bí ìwé ìròyìn: “Your face as broad as the pages of a newspaper”. Ó s’esè bí adìye tí n lo meeting: “Your legs like the legs of a chicken going to meeting”. Ojú e tóbi bí ojú òpòló tàbí òwìwí: “Look at your big eyes like a frog’s or an owl’s”. I have new questions on my mind: what harm would it do us to teach primary education in the local language of the community where the school is situated? Why do people feel that speaking Yoruba perfectly would lead to an imperfect knowledge of English? Why are our local languages tagged vernacular in most schools?

Barbara is a woman of many parts; writer, teacher, wife, mother, board member of the Ugandan Women Writers’ Association. Besides talking about writing and our countries, we talked about women issues. We read about Ugochukwu Onuchukwu, and wonder why women allow themselves to be blinded by love, even to the point of death. We wonder about generational differences between men and women; why is it that in the older generation (our parents’) there were lesser reported cases of spousal abuse leading to death unlike now. Barbara thinks that, maybe unlike before, many women are getting more empowered, as such becoming bigger sources of threats to men. More women also seem to stand up for their rights today. One thing remains same though, all these empowerment has not translated to women making choices to leave their marriages until they exit in death despite being financially empowered.  Meet Barbara the feminist. She says that she is tired of explaining to people why she is interested in women matters. That if standing for women, makes her a feminist, then, so be it!

I learn more about Uganda, about its political terrain, past and present. I hear about Idi Amin, whom  I watched those shocking movies of as a child. Well, I didn’t know Museveni had been a President for so long, for about 26 years. I learn that there was a treasured relationship between Museveni and Ghadaffi, that Ghadaffi built one of the most beautiful mosques in Uganda. I begin to think to myself: what does Museveni think of the death of his friend? Doesn’t the death of his friend make him have a rethink of his long-term rule as President? Doesn’t it make him begin to think that maybe it is time to train someone who would be “fit for President”? She tells me of the new strategy of civilians to get politicians to listen. She speaks of nodding disease, a disease that gets its name from the action of nodding and affects children. For a long time, the politicians were not giving it deserved attention, despite media coverage. Until some activists, took some children, with the disease to the Parliament. That was when they began to act. This made me think of Nigeria. While our representatives seat in the house and accrue to themselves unbelievable salaries; what do we do? We sit in our houses and whine. We seat in our online homes and rant. How about a protest where they are not allowed to leave the House until important bills like the Health and Social Security Bill for instance are passed into law. Maybe desperate situations call for desperate measures, for Uganda, and for Nigeria.

Then, we spoke about work ethic, in both countries. She is surprised that when it is about 9pm around here, one hardly find shops open. That before 9am you also find them closed. She says that is not the case in Uganda where stalls are open almost round the clock, especially during festivities. I am wondering, what about security? She confirms they have their security issues too, but people have learnt to live beyond it. This work ethic is also revealed in their schooling. Children do not leave school until around 5pm. She is surprised when I tell her that here, the average schools close around 2pm. She says that’s enjoyment. But I wonder what children, especially the really young ones would be doing till 5pm? On this, she thinks that the Ugandan system needs to learn from the Nigerian education system.

Our six weeks have long ended, memories of time spent with her, lessons about Uganda, lurk somewhere in the corners of my head. I wonder how you can learn so much from someone, about a country, in weeks.

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Temitayo Olofinlua, a writer, was recently at a retreat at the Ebedi’s Writer’s Residency at Iseyin, Nigeria. She’s also a co-manager of the Bookaholic Blog.

I Don’t Want to Cry 

I don’t want to cry

It’s just that it’s hard to walk pass you daily

as you lay in the ground beneath the banana tree when

you should be in my arms

I don’t want to cry

It’s just that my swollen breasts need to express and

my empty tummy still bears signs of your stay and

the pains won’t go away and

nine months feel all in vain

I don’t want to cry

But I see your father look at me with so much love and understanding

And I cannot help but feel like I failed him, that I failed you

that I failed all of us

I don’t want to cry

But you didn’t come home with me from the hospital and

grandma  gave me the bad eye and grandpa sighed and

everyone says it’s the water that spilled, the vessel is not broken but

all I really want is silence

I don’t want to cry

It’s just that tears keep rolling down my face

mixing with the milk you should be having

staining my dress

wetting these pages.

Ode to Once Upon a Time…

In every smile I saw tomorrow
In your laughter I glimpsed hereafter

I
Winged by illusion
Soaring through planes of disillusion
I drift on the sea of optimism unrestrained

You
I made a quarry whence
I fetched the stones to build my world
Like clay in a potters wheel
I’m spun in wait of form
In your forge I fabricate
Futile fantasies in fiery furnaces

Yes
I am light like dust in the air
Like guilt on a criminal conscience
Like a lie to the divine
Like a kiss on carcass

Like a bird with torn feathers
I fluttered in fragile winds

But now no more.

No more waiting
In vain, in pain
No gain in staying
I’m setting sail…

As I bow and bid you farewell
Do let’s celebrate, will you?
Here are my tears
Where’s your wineglass?

___________

Chris Ihidero is a writer and journalist from Lagos, Nigeria. He can be found on twitter at @chrisihidero.

November 22, 1997.

I stared at the ceiling of my very dimly lit room – the outside lighting of the building provided the little illumination – with, I am sure, the usual blank, post coital expression which I discovered long before that cool Saturday morning that I always seemed to have on my face after indulging in marital privileges “pre-maritally” or better still, fornicating if you will. This little observation of mine was made when I was seventeen years old and precisely after my fourth or fifth ‘behind closed doors encounter’ with a ripe female. Which was it, fourth or fifth? Can anyone really remember the numbers of those things accurately? Curious to find out if the fact of the act was written on my face immediately I was done with “knowing” her in the biblical sense of the word, I held a hand mirror to my face to see what it really looked like at that moment. The mirror revealed that I could just have finished saying a solemn prayer or finished reading a philosophical book. I still remember the perplexed look on the face of my lust interest on that occasion as she watched me hold a mirror to my face after we had just indulged in about five minutes of coarse copulation while we were still fully dressed. Our teen apparel clung to our bodies because of the resultant sweating brought about by our activity. Our being fully clothed could be accounted for by our all too conscious awareness of the time-honoured, uncanny ability of parents to walk in on children at their most errant moments, a gift possessed in abundance by my parents, Chief and Mrs. Dina whose Lagos home played host to our ‘rough and tumble’ and who were at the time next door visiting the girl’s parents.

Six years and several ‘rough and tumble’ encounters later, I shifted my gaze from the ceiling of my room in Mariere Hall, my hostel on the campus of the University of Lagos, and stared down at the rumpled hair on the crown of the female head that was resting on my chest. I quivered slightly as I was tickled by the air that she, Susan, emitted from her small nostrils; it was air that gently caressed my right nipple.

Taking the very beautiful ‘Sister Susan’ to bed had been a rather difficult task – a record five weeks which was rather too long for me. Girls in school gave sex so easily in those days of the reign of Nigeria’s then military head of state, General Sani Abacha when poverty lived among us and made its presence felt like never before – some of them did so for as little as a small plate of rice – no joke – and boys like me from better off homes, we took advantage of the situation. It was a struggle for many to complete their degrees; it was no surprise that a large number failed or dropped out due to financial difficulties. Anyone who made it out of the school with their degrees in those days deserves a medal for that single achievement.

After buying her sundry gifts that she turned down, Susan refused to climb down from her NO to premarital sex stance and into the warmth of my waiting, ravenous arms. Poverty had the effect of making my countrymen more religious than they have probably ever been. Perhaps it has the same effect on societies around the world; when you want to wish away the mess around your feet, the mess in which you are rooted, you look upwards away from that mess. It was at this time the Pentecostals really began to win converts at a furious pace.

Acting on a whim one day, I bought Susan a leather-bound Bible with her name beautifully inscribed on it by an art student pal of mine. When I gave her the said Bible, I swore most insincerely that I loved her. I do not know what it was about that act that made her capitulate but after that, she did. A few days later, our ‘first time’ happened after a great deal of cajoling and begging. For someone who claimed ‘holiness’ as ‘heathens’ like me termed her initial prudishness, she proved herself to be more than an ardent lover. The enthusiasm that she brought to lovemaking was astounding, considering her initial stubbornness. Her noisy howling and uninhibited hand movements on my anatomy belied the fact that she was a staunch member of the ‘Radicals for Christ’ (not to be confused with a similar body in the United States), a campus Christian fellowship which was well-known for the ultra conservative brand of the Christian faith that it advocated. Well, she did keep some of that prudishness that first time in the sense that she insisted on having the lights turned off, no lights at all, no matter how dim. Need I say the curtains had to be drawn too? I did not mind after that though. She became another character in the dark. I had anticipated we would get down to the basics ‘Adam and Eve’ style; you know the word associated with itinerant pastors. I was genuinely tongue-tied and pleasantly surprised when she turned me over and, well, you know! I suspected Susan had a pre-sisterhood history which I was going to find out in due course. Although she was just in her second year in UNILAG as the University of Lagos is popularly called, it was clear after our first ‘rough and tumble’ session that she was a top contender for a chair at ‘UNISEX’, if anyone decided it was worth it to start a university for that subject.

In spite of her zeal when it came to the nitty-gritty of our, by this time, three-week romance, I found her remarkably dull and uninspiring. Several jokes and statements of mine which I considered humorously irreverent, many of which elicited deep belly laughs from her predecessors and friends of mine always seemed to have quite the opposite effect on her. After I made such remarks, she would go on to lecture – no, nag would be a better word –  me about the carnal disposition of my person and my assured place in the everlasting lake of fire if I continued to refuse to perish the thoughts of such, in her words, ‘satanic jokes’ before they took form in my mind. Two evenings before this fateful November day, we had a disagreement over one of such comments. She came into my room wearing a cheap, mild perfume and a badly constructed red skirt suit that set off her light complexion but hid only too well her abundant, curvaceous protuberances. I never saw her nude except in the dark but…yep…there is only so much the darkness can hide. I am fortunate in that I have good hands and an equally good brain for measuring dimensions. She looked very tired and she sat beside me in my bed immediately she came into my hostel room.

“I don’t like perfumes,” I told her after we exchanged greetings.

“But why?” she asked somewhat disappointedly. Perhaps she made the effort to buy a new perfume just to impress me. I remember she always wore one that was slightly less okay.

“They hide a woman’s true smell. For example, there’s nothing as sexy as a girl’s natural smell. For example, the smell of a girl’s armpits ten of fifteen minutes after a bath, I am told, is a true erection stimulant,” I replied as I laughed and pinched her gently. Well, I was not told – I knew because one of my ex-girlfriends before Susan appeared in the picture would never have sex without first taking her bath, irrespective of the hour of the day. I was only half-kidding about the perfumes. There are some exceptionally good smelling perfumes, ninety five percent of the rest I just cannot seem to stand.

A frown formed and deepened with frightening intensity on her face, distorting its cute, round form.

“It’s even more exciting than the smell of ‘down below’,” I concluded with mock seriousness. There, I may have gaffed because I had never smelt Susan’s ‘down below’ – with her, it was strictly straight to business and she did not approve of any ‘nosing’ about. Like I said earlier, she was a mix of nun and a loose maid.

“Must you always say such dumb things?” she asked me querulously. “If God had not spoken to me and told me that we will be married in the future, I wouldn’t even want to be around you and your unclean mind.”

“Life is much more fun with what you call an unclean mind,” I said trying to wear her down before she got on her high horse and rode over me.

“That’s the devil’s philosophy.”

Feeling unappreciated and trying hard to contain my irritation. I allowed such remarks pass before; I was not going to do so this time. I looked her straight in the eye.

“You didn’t say that those times we enjoyed ourselves on this very bed,” I said to her as I patted the platform on which we sat. She avoided my eye and looked at the floor in embarrassment.

“That was different,” she said lamely.

“How different? Look, stop judging people and more importantly, stop judging me. No matter what you think, you are just a hypocrite like everyone around you. Just relax and enjoy life. In case you don’t know it, you have just one to live.”

Her face knotted angrily with a combination of fury and humiliation. She picked up her bag, stormed out of the room blindly and so fast that she left her notebooks behind.

______________

Bolaji Olatunde is an accountant writing from Nigeria who has been highly commended by the BBC. These excerpts come from Bolaji’s novel Straw Dogs.