Sadeness

…He was beautiful. Beautiful, not handsome. Perfectly formed. Perfect in every way. E.v.e.r.y. Not meaning in all ways, just every way that I thought possible. And in ways I did not think possible. At first glance, he was beautiful. When I stole a few glances at him when I thought he was not looking, he remained beautiful. What is beauty? “A presence that gives deep satisfaction and pleasure”. And he had it. In abundance. I could gaze at him forever. I thought.

I went to his home, and to get there, you had to go through a maze of delightful gardens. Not perfectly manicured, but very well kept, in a way to bring the forest into the city, an urban Eden, if you like. There was the gentle sound of water splashing into the basin, from the fountain, and in the powerful sunlight, the ripples created glistened as they spread out wider, wider and wider into the basin, until they disappeared, engulfed by the water. There was calm. It was serene. It was peaceful. It was joy.

And then I saw his plants, the different flowers standing tall, daring the sun to look directly into their delicately strong petals of reds, pinks, oranges, yellows and purples.

Then I saw his animals. His dogs – 3 of them, barking in a friendly way, as though saying “hello, welcome to our haven, welcome, welcome” and I smiled, the smile was formed in my mind, but gradually, it found its way to my face, as though the inner being was communicating directly with the outer. A perfect synchrony.

We kept walking, I kept stealing glances at him, the fountain, the plants and the dogs. We continued walking through the maze, communicating silently, one with another.

And then I thought to myself, “this is too perfect to be real, I must be dreaming”.

I woke up from my sleep and was slightly disappointed that it was just a dream, albeit one that gave me 5 hours of escapism.

But I am not dreaming. It happened, I realised, as I remembered the events of the past week.
Perfection is here, I only needed to view it with my dreamland eyes to acknowledge it as my perfection.

Someone still my beating heart.

Can I live in this dreamland forever?…

**The song below came up as I was typing this post, and I think it captures the “dreaminess” of the post, which is why I changed the title from reverie to sadeness
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