Peeping Dom
‘Wiping the unbelieving suds from his eyes, Dominique peeped once more through the judas hole in the bathroom door. He saw the panty-hosed assassin sent by Nicolas lean forward to pull out a gold-plated .22 derringer pistol from her patent-leather boot. She was standing near the door, her back turned to it. He knew he could easily handle this one. Instanter he jumped out naked, taking firm hold of, and screaming L.H.O.O.Q! at, her protruding derrière. They crashed onto the floor of the hotel room, entwined…’ (alias Nick Carter)
Déjà vu?
‘In 1958 France under Charles de Gaulle, hoping to get laid, propositioned, among other candidates, the people of Guinea—the reply was an emphatic NON! with Sékou Touré as leader of the negative chorus. Angry, France raped and demobilized Guinean infrastructure before scampering away, leaving the country with an independence that was well-nigh meaningless. 2011, and history seems set to some sort of playback mode. A moneyed French lecher propositions a Guinean hotel maid. Her answer is the selfsame Touréan NON! Monsieur Le Propriétaire gets very très angry and attempts to lay waste her infra-, meso- and superstructure alike. After which he tries to vamoose—but that is where the tape in history’s cassette gets twisted. If only Strauss-Kahn, luminary of the French Socialist Party, had spent time imbibing Marx, instead of organizing the global capitalist cash nexus, he would have come across the warning that history never repeats itself in exact pattern…’ (alias Frantz Fanon)
Ijioromi and Idominiiki
‘Idominiiki’s career is akin to that of Ijioromi, the celebrated wrestler in Edo mythology. They both share a love of slamming others onto the floor. One day, against the better judgement and admonitions of his brother Ekpofi, Ijioromi, having rubbed the back of every contender on earth in the mud, decided to pursue his cruel delight in celestial realms. He took flight to the land of the spirits and challenged all and one to a wrestling match. It was a risk he barely survived. At the end of the misadventure he had to flee for dear life. However, there’s one difference. Ijioromi fought men; Idominiiki fights only women. He fights them whether they are willing or not. Idominiiki has conquered all the women of Gallia and some parts of Europa into the bargain. Recently, despite the warning of his friend and rival Sakozi, he decided to take flight to the land of the Nacirema, a people who lay claims to being the custodians of the trust of the Gods. His goal is to slug it out with all the women there. Will he survive the consequences of his hubris? His very first abortive bout with an unwilling woman of the underclasses of the Nacirema has seen him lose courage and attempt to cut and run back home. But the Nacirema have their own rules. He must stay and fight. And he will fight henceforth with his arms pinioned behind his back. And he must fight all comers—woman, man, lawyer, liar, scribe and blind justice armed with a two-edged sword and scales for measuring your bollocks after harvesting them…’ (alias Euhemerus)
