Two Poems

by Chris Ihidero

 

I Don’t Want to Cry 

I don’t want to cry

It’s just that it’s hard to walk pass you daily

as you lay in the ground beneath the banana tree when

you should be in my arms

 

I don’t want to cry

It’s just that my swollen breasts need to express and

my empty tummy still bears signs of your stay and

the pains won’t go away and

nine months feel all in vain

 

I don’t want to cry

But I see your father look at me with so much love and understanding

And I cannot help but feel like I failed him, that I failed you

that I failed all of us

 

I don’t want to cry

But you didn’t come home with me from the hospital and

grandma  gave me the bad eye and grandpa sighed and

everyone says it’s the water that spilled, the vessel is not broken but

all I really want is silence

 

I don’t want to cry

It’s just that tears keep rolling down my face

mixing with the milk you should be having

staining my dress

wetting these pages.

 

Ode to Once Upon a Time…

In every smile I saw tomorrow
In your laughter I glimpsed hereafter

I
Winged by illusion
Soaring through planes of disillusion
I drift on the sea of optimism unrestrained

You
I made a quarry whence
I fetched the stones to build my world
Like clay in a potters wheel
I’m spun in wait of form
In your forge I fabricate
Futile fantasies in fiery furnaces

Yes
I am light like dust in the air
Like guilt on a criminal conscience
Like a lie to the divine
Like a kiss on carcass

Like a bird with torn feathers
I fluttered in fragile winds

But now no more.

No more waiting
In vain, in pain
No gain in staying
I’m setting sail…

As I bow and bid you farewell
Do let’s celebrate, will you?
Here are my tears
Where’s your wineglass?

___________

Chris Ihidero is a writer and journalist from Lagos, Nigeria. He can be found on twitter at @chrisihidero.